This is How We Do It | Hit R&B Artist/Manager Montell and Kristin Jordan are All In to Encourage Marriages

Oct 16

You’ve heard the hit, “This is How We Do It.” Everyone’s familiar with the anthem that’s been part of pop culture for the last 25+ years. It’s a ubiquitous favorite, played by the NFL, NBA, in commercials and at weddings and proms — guaranteed to pack the dance floor. The song’s artist/manager duo, Montell and Kristin Jordan, had been married less than a year when the title reached number #1 on the charts. The couple’s rocketing fame almost caused their marriage to disintegrate. They weathered trials and tribulations, and eventually, after two decades of world tours and millions of album sales, they chose “marriage over music, faith over fame, and significance over success,” according to their website. Instead of traveling the world pursuing a high-profile career as a top recording artist, they now minister to ordinary marriages as well as provide safe, confidential counsel and respite for public figures and celebrity couples.

It took a while for the Jordans to fully realize God’s plan for them. Although they were both Christians, they began their marriage under a shadow of deception. Success came quickly to Montell’s R&B career with Kristin as his manager, but the fact that they were married would have been perceived as a negative. Kristin worked professionally under her maiden name because “wives who were managers” were not taken seriously. And famous musicians were expected to be available. Montell explained it this way: to be successful in the music industry “every man needs to want to be you, and every woman to be with you.” It was important he project an image of the single ready to party depicted in the music video.

As Montell’s fame took off, life started imitating art, and sin crept in. “We took a journey no husband and wife want to experience,” Montell said. “We went into the business loving God but not having the tools to help sustain a healthy marriage.” As for Kristin, her single mom taught her to be strong and independent but didn’t model how to be a wife under a husband’s authority. A few years and a daughter later, they realized their marriage had hit very choppy waters.

The Jordans came to a crossroads when years of destructive behavior were exposed and knew they had to decide, “Are you willing to give up your career or your marriage? Do you stay and fight?” Kristin said. She was told she could get half if the couple divorced but thought, “If we stay together, we can have it all.” She felt the Lord telling her in prayer to stay, but she knew she needed help. The Jordans spent a season learning how to set boundaries and rebuild trust. “It was a really rough road, but it was worth it and the best decision I ever made,” she added.

For Montell’s part, he realized if they divorced and continued in the music business, he’d forfeit his legacy for a career. “Husbands and wives do it every day. They are willing to exchange their legacy for the temporary easing of pain.”

Nine years later the Jordans walked away from the music industry and into ministry. Now they use their story and talents to inspire others through their App, or in person through seminars, webinars, or at their retreat center, The Jordan River. They help others look down the road and see a bigger picture than they pain they are enduring at the moment. “The pain could be a labor pain that gives birth to their legacy, if they are willing to stay and let it come to full term,” Montell said.

One of Montell and Kristin’s trademarks is they way they candidly share how they were able to overcome crisis points in their marriage while living in the fishbowl of their very public life. Because there is not much they have not personally experienced — bankruptcy, infidelity, miscarriage, raising five children — they can empathize and speak as those who have trod the path before.

“We’ve navigated some crazy storms,” Montell said. “People realize we’ve been through it and made it to the other side. God has graced us that we have the ability to speak into many different cultures, generations and ethnicities.

“Our transparency became our currency in the ministry space,” he added.

Montell often begins a speaking engagement by telling participants there was a time in his life when he was unfaithful to his wife. “It is like throwing a ministry grenade into the room,” he said. “I let the statement sit there for a few beats, then I’ll add, ‘and I did a lot of damage to my wife.’

“I don’t have to give details,” he said, “but my transparency disarms everyone who is dealing with something. They’ll wonder, ‘Did he say that with her sitting right there?’ and ‘How does this work — How did you stay through all of that?’ Our transparency has opened the door for conversation with those who are navigating something, too.”

The Jordans believe God allowed them to have success in the music industry “for such a time as this,” as their fame has given them access to rooms and places otherwise unavailable. They use the open door to share Jesus.

“Because we have overcome the trials and tragedies, people know it is possible,” Montell said. Not a lot of marriages have a long life in the entertainment business. It’s a different kind of lifestyle. If a celebrity goes to a counselor, they’ll think, ‘You don’t understand my life.’” (And that’s if a high-profile couple can even get help without having their faces splashed on the cover of People magazine — another concern.)

“We are the living proof that ‘Yeah, it can work, if you apply what we tell you.’ Some people just need some tools and resources for a tune-up, but a lot of people dealing with certain issues don’t know how it is possible or who to trust,” Montell said. If a pastor or leader has never dealt with addiction or porn, they don’t understand. “For a couple navigating an affair or emotional affair, even if the counselor is authentically empathetic, they don’t have the track record. There’s something that comes with experience.”

“When you achieve at something we call it success, when you fail, we call it experience,” Kristin added. “We do understand the multimillionaire whose company is blossoming but who is bleeding out in his marriage, or the athlete on the road all the time, or the struggling Hollywood actor,” Montell said. “Thirty years has equipped us to speak into someone’s life. I can say to the millionaire, ‘I know what that means. You are not going to change the legacy of your family if you split and only see your kids every other weekend.’”

“That’s what makes us different. We’ve seen success at the magnitude and levels other people have not and endured that,” Kristin said. “Success is the antithesis to a godly, submitted relationship.”

“We went into the business loving God, but not having the tools to help sustain a healthy marriage.”

— Montell

In fall 2010 the Jordans made a decision that they were not going to do another reality TV show or release another secular album, instead trusting God with their next steps. They realized they, “had allowed music to be our god, so we shut it down.” Kristin turned her attention to producing for a church, and Montell accepted a worship pastor position. Both admit that the titles, pastor and pastor’s wife, felt hard to live up to at first.

“We are so honored, grateful and humbled that someone would allow us to lead them into life in eternity after this one. Now we’re restoring and using our influence for a different kingdom that’s aligned with His purposes,” Kristin said.

“We are all team Jesus for the kingdom,” Montell agreed. “People in the lost and dying world don’t understand Christianese. Our journey in the music business gives us the human skin and witness to appeal to people who don’t care about what you know until they know how much you care. After they see us love them, we can love them to Jesus.”

After a decade in ministry, the Jordans founded Master Peace Church in 2022. They created the online church to provide a place for people to have an authentic worship experience from the privacy of their home, a need born out of their work with high-profile couples. Someone like Beyonce can’t just go to the church down the block, Kristin said.

“If Taylor Swift showed up at your church, she wouldn’t be able to have an authentic worship experience,” Montell said. People — famous or not — can attend Master Peace Church online privately and experience worship that meets them wherever they are. Services are held Sunday evenings at 6 p.m. ET. People can livestream or watch archived episodes at masterpeacechurch.com.

Another recent project for the Jordans has been opening a retreat center they’ve aptly named The Jordan River. The 13,000-square-foot facility on six acres of pristine property in Georgia includes seven bedrooms and 10 baths to provide a place where high-profile couples can heal away from the public eye. Leaders come for marriage intensives or just refreshment and renewal. “We’ve seen the destructiveness of families not staying together,” Kristin said. “A lot of people who need help in their marriages don’t have access to somewhere private.”

At The Jordan River, Kristin and Montell offer a 411 retreat of tools and resources to enrich marriages needing a tune-up, as well as 911 intensives for those dealing with infidelity or trauma. They also curate refreshing getaways for leaders wanting to rest and replenish in a safe environment.

They wrote the book, This Is How We Do It! Making Your Marriage A Masterpeace, in 2017. They offer the 16-chapter book and workbook in conjunction with eight, 15-minute lessons available on DVD or through streaming services. Designed for couples or small groups, the curriculum will help people engage in in-depth discussion to better understand each other and God.

The Jordans have developed an App, Marriage Masterpeace, where they offer daily devotions, Date Night ideas, and a blog with each spouse’s perspective on marital issues, along with a schedule of their conference appearances and upcoming Date Night events. During a Date Night, Montell performs original music because, “when you are singing and dancing, everything is more fun.”

“That’s what makes us different. We’ve seen success at the magnitude and levels other people have not and endured that. Success is the antithesis to a godly, submitted relationship.”

— Kristin

“When people are enjoying themselves and having their hearts re-engaged, they are in a different heart process than a traditional learning environment,” Krisitin agreed. “We introduce couples who want better marriages to Jesus. We point the way, but only God can heal.”

You can hear some of that original music on their website, https://montellandkristin.com/, where the couple streams an all-new music video titled, “All In.” They also offer a curated couples’ playlist on Spotify that includes R&B songs from their new album “Masterpeace.” They describe the focus of their music now to “promote and encourage couples to keep dating in their marriage and spiritually strengthen their faith in God to have more faith in each other,” they wrote. “Married couples will need baby-sitters for this album because they will be inspired to dance longer, love harder, and make it last forever.”

Coming soon, the Jordans will release webinars that offer couples practical and fundamental steps to “make their marriage a masterpeace.” Accessible through their website, they will be held live with interactive question and answer sessions.

Ultimately, Kristin and Montell allowed God “to reinvent their lives to focus on their family values, their passion to see the covenant of marriage reestablished, and to restore hope in the hearts of men and women everywhere,” they wrote on their website. “A reconciled husband and wife make a stronger marriage; a stronger marriage makes a better family; stronger families make better churches; stronger churches make better communities and stronger communities make a better world.” Find them at their App, their website or Instagram.