God’s Multiplication Plan | Bledsoes’ Happily Married Couples Ministry Blossoms Through Mentorship

Jul 12

Mentors make a difference. The gift of walking alongside another can literally change the course of a life. Currently, Jackie Bledsoe is a digital creator, best-selling author and, with his wife, Stephana, a sought-after speaker at marriage events and founder of Happily Married Couples ministry. But in the not-too-distant past, Jackie and Stephana were a struggling couple themselves looking for wisdom and a community to bolster their young marriage and family.

Despite not always following Christ perfectly, the Bledsoes turned to their church for support early in their marriage. They began what Jackie called their “pre-marital counseling” after they’d already been married a year and had a daughter together. The friendships they forged with the other couples in that group taught them the value of doing life with like-minded peers. And the relationship they made with the pastor and his wife who led the group demonstrated the power of mentorship. Mentorship and community are two of the values the Bledsoes emphasize to those who connect with their Happily Married Couples ministry. They hope God will continue to use their story as one of hope and inspiration for other marriages.

Jackie and Stephana were raised in the same small Indiana town where the lives of many of their family members were intertwined. Their grandmothers were actually best friends! However, the two didn’t become close until they both moved to Indianapolis as young adults in the late 90s. When they reconnected, Jackie had recently recommitted his life to Christ. While their faith and walk with Christ were growing during their early years of marriage, several business ventures failed to materialize, and the couple weathered financial uncertainty.

Jackie discovered blogging in 2012 as a way to market on-line. He wrote about topics closest to his heart: disappointment, growth through struggle, and relationships. His posts on marriage and family from a male perspective resonated with others, and soon his free-lance writing became profitable enough to support his family. His work caught the eye of Christian publishers at giant LifeWay, and eventually led to a contract to write his best-selling The 7 Rings of Marriage published in 2016. The book has been expanded into a Bible study for small groups as well as a digitized seven-part video series for individual couples available through happilymarriedcouples.com.

Now Jackie and Stephana run a full-fledged marriage ministry, hosting Happily Married Couples events for churches and ministries. The initial question on their website encapsulates their message: “We want to help you create a marriage worth celebrating and answer “YES” to the question, ‘Do you absolutely love your marriage?’” They also have served as speakers at FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember couples retreats since 2019, and web-savvy Jackie coaches Christian creators about how to make their content more dynamic.

Visit happilymarriedcouples.com, and you’ll notice Jackie’s prowess with digital marketing. The site even showcases several podcasts and blog posts about how couples can build successful businesses and ministries together while staying happily married. Couples can take a free marriage quiz to assess their marriage and get a personalized action plan to help them grow their marriage through connection, communication and celebration. Dive deeper into The 7 Rings through a five-day devotional offered at no charge. Jackie writes YouVersion Bible plans, and Happily Married Couples encourages couples to join their free Facebook group to foster community.

The Bledsoes recognized the need for community when they were first married and realized they had no other married friends their same age. “We were searching for other couples who could recognize and relate to the challenges we were experiencing as a young couple,” Jackie said, and who had a “similar heart to be better husbands and wives.”

“God didn’t create us in isolation. You need encouragement and support,” he added. “We wanted to create a place where couples could come together, get encouragement, accountability and know they are not alone. You have hope when you know you are not alone.”

When the Bledsoes speak together, the stage is extroverted Jackie’s zone. Stephana brings a different balance, excelling at one-on-one conversations. “Endearing” is the word often used to describe Stephana in feedback, Jackie said. “Everyone gravitates to her.” A former homeschool mom to the couples’ three children, Stephana also serves on the Church Multiplication and Discipleship team for the Wesleyan Church World Headquarters. She edits Jackie’s work, including The 7 Rings. “The best pieces of content I create are with her,” Jackie added.

Jackie speaks at an event.

Jackie describes their style as “very transparent and relatable. People can see, based on what we’ve gone through, that they can make it and be a blessing to others, too.” A friend from his childhood days who reconnected with Jackie through Happily Married Couples told him Jackie “literally saved my life and my marriage by what you do.” Now, that man and his wife lead marriage ministry in their own church. “He knew a very different pre-Christ Jackie Bledsoe,” Jackie said. “(His story) gives people hope and a belief that God can redeem anything they’ve gone through.”

The 7 Rings of Marriage remains Happily Married Couples’ flagship resource. The book outlines seven key stages, or “rings,” that all couples will journey through in a healthy marriage. “Whether you’re engaged, newlyweds, or a long-time married couple, you’ll learn how to purposefully move from one ring to another for a lifetime of deeper love and marital maturity.

Encounter a renewed hope and deeper appreciation for how rich married life can be in each stage,” according to the website, which notes more than 115,000 couples have used The 7 Rings to help their marriages.

As in life, marriage starts with the Engagement Ring. This is the time to focus on your foundation, Jackie said, and set your direction to create a strong marriage. Take premarital classes and get rooted in God’s word.

During the next stage, the Wedding Ring represents the oneness and commitment of your covenant agreement before God. It’s a commitment couples continue to live out over time.

As spouses walk through life together, they’ll begin Discove-Ring things they may not have known about each other. Things that were once appealing now become appalling, Jackie said. You’ll learn how you handle different situations and flaws. “Become a life-long learner of your spouse,” he said, as both of you will change throughout your lifetimes.

Perseve- Ring lands in the middle of the rings of marriage, because it represents when couples experience friction and tension. Some decide to get out. Instead, you can make a decision here to commit to making your marriage the best. Spouses can come out on the other side of challenges better together.

Resto-Ring brings God’s grace and forgiveness to heal the broken pieces and places you persevered through. When you put God in the center of your marriage, he’ll restore all things that are broken, Jackie said.

Prospe-Ring is where couples rest when they’ve gotten through some challenges and developed skills to resolve conflict and communicate well. Things that would have once caused an argument now resolve more quickly. The couple has learned how to thrive together as a team, which leads to:

Mento-Ring. Now it’s time to share what God has done in your marriage with others. Jackie said he and Stephana realized God was not just allowing them to go through things for themselves, it was to benefit others. “Your marriage is bigger than you. There’s a bigger vision and impact when you share what you’ve learned.” Your first audience is your own children. Jackie said a mentor challenged him by asking “Would your kids want to be married based on what they see in your marriage?”

“We want to help you create a marriage worth celebrating and answer “YES” to the question, ‘Do you absolutely love your marriage?”

— Jackie Bledsoe

More About Mentoring

Jackie and Stephana firmly believe in the power of mentoring. They know they’ve personally benefited from others’ support. “We were so blessed to have couples to guide and pour into us,” Jackie said. Their first experience was with one of the teaching pastors on staff and his wife who mentored their small group of young married couples. “They lived out their biblical marriage in a way that showed us what we wanted. Something great came out of those seeds planted way back when,” he said.

Another mentor couple who has become influential in the Bledsoes’ life is Dr. Clarence and Brenda Shuler. The pairs met a decade ago at a retreat at which the Shulers were speaking. Like Jackie, Clarence had played basketball at the college level. His mention of a love for tennis spurred Jackie to approach him, and the two connected. Their relationship has continued to grow, and the men now pray together every Tuesday morning.

Little did Jackie know, but Clarence would introduce him to one of his own mentors, legendary Dr. Gary Chapman, of The Five Love Languages fame. Gary led Clarence to Christ and mentored him when the younger man was a teenager playing basketball in North Carolina. Gary and Clarence authored a book together about life changing cross cultural friendships. “Many have been blessed by his decision to mentor a young African American boy at that time in that part of the country,” Jackie said. “You have no idea what seed planted may bless someone generations from now.”

When Jackie wrote The 7 Rings of Marriage, Clarence shared it with Dr. Chapman, who read it and endorsed its content.

“Marriages either grow or regress. They never stand still. This book will definitely help you have a growing marriage. I highly recommend it to couples of all ages.” - Gary D. Chapman, Ph.D., author of The Five Love Languages.

All three men found common ground because they “love to dribble and shoot a basketball,” Jackie said. “Be in the moment and attentive when meeting someone. There may be something for you, even if you don’t see it. Engage and see where God takes you. It’s been 10 years since we first connected, and he’s (Clarence) has been a spiritual dad to me.”

Stephana & Jackie Bledsoe

The Shulers are featured in another resource offered by Happily Married Couples. The free ebook, A Marriage Worth Celebrating: Helping Couples Connect, Communicate and Celebrate Marriage, compiles advice from 19 couples who have “the most amazing, loving, intimate and connected marriages we know of.” Jackie and Stephana have curated answers to the question: “What’s the single best piece of advice you’d give a married or engaged couple today?” Comments vary, but overarching themes include communication, connection, sacrificial service, foundation on Christ, and prayer.

The Shulers answered, “The greatest thing a couple can do is consistently pray together. Prayer is the key to communication, vulnerability and intimacy.”

Find community and resources the Bledsoes offer at happilymarriedcouples.com.