Couple Builds on Incarceration Experience| How Ron and Cathy Tijerina are Stopping Cycles of Brokenness

Jul 8

What happens when the unimaginable happens … in your family? That’s the circumstance in which Cathy and Ron Tijerina found themselves after Ron was sentenced to 14-25 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. Cathy was left at home with no job, no source of income and two toddlers to care for.

“I woke up to a realization that their (sons’) daddy’s going to be in prison their whole childhood,” she said. “What is that going to look like for me and for them?” She was not sure if her marriage was going to make it, but Cathy was determined that she would do whatever it took for her sons to be healthy.

“I’d had a full scholarship to college. Fast forward five years — my husband is going to prison, and I’m on welfare.” How had the life they’d envisioned gotten so off track? A more important question, what were they going to do now?

Fast forward again, despite Ron serving 15 years in prison, the Tijerinas beat the odds, stayed together (married now 36 years) and started a Christian nonprofit organization that works directly with incarcerated individuals and families to improve their lives. Their RIDGE Project was recognized as a federal Department of Health and Human Services “Best Practice” program and has been identified nationally as a leader in family and youth services. It’s grown to include partner organizations in 13 states and four international countries and has empowered hundreds of thousands through its flagship TYRO programs.

But neither Ron nor Cathy could envision that outcome in 1991 when Ron joined the 2.1 million in the United States behind bars. In fact, according to a 2020 Prison Policy Initiative report, nearly one out of every 100 people in the United States is in a prison or jail.

Ron likens facing incarceration to grieving a death, which takes a person through stages of denial, shock and anger before they finally reach a place of acceptance. When a loved one becomes terminally ill or dies, hospice comes to help with the grieving process. But the Tijerinas found out first-hand no one comes to help the grieving families left behind who feel marginalized and shamed by a family member’s incarceration. Families are ripped apart, incarcerated spouses are considered disposable, and the forgotten victims on the outside are told they are better off without them.

“People hear the message to just go and move on,” Cathy said, which translates in their hearts that they also are flawed and disposable. Without help getting to a place of acceptance and hope, the paradigm shifts to a victim mentality, which sets people up to make choices that perpetuate that reality, creating a cycle of incarceration and brokenness.

When Cathy went to see Ron in prison, they looked around the visiting room and noticed generations of families lost to the prison system. Grandfathers, fathers, sons — all incarcerated. They determined their future was not going to look like that.

“To stop the generational cycle, we needed to hear voices saying we could come out of this healed and stronger, that the relationship was worth fighting for, worth saving, worth rescuing,” Cathy said.

The Tijerinas concentrated first on themselves: their marriage, their legacy, becoming “maniacally focused on establishing a new foundation for our kids. Not only I can do it, I MUST do it. We were NOT going to become a statistic,” Cathy added. Ron began learning to apply the lessons of God’s word that he spent his time in prison studying.

“The only thing I knew was Jesus,” Ron said. “I’m 25 years old, frightened to the bone of my being.” He clung to 1 Peter 14:12. “Jesus was telling me, ‘Think it not strange of the fiery trial that’s about to take you, I’m going to meet you here and take you to a new life if you let me.’” Ron began to thirst and hunger to better his predicament, surrounding himself with men of character and honor who also spent hours studying the Bible. He realized they knew Bible theory but needed help making the connection between knowing God’s word and putting God’s word into practice.

“How does (the Word) translate into building my family, raising my children, building a new reputation out in the world,” he said. “They (incarcerated individuals) need to rebuild relationships – it’s not just instantaneous that everyone is going to accept them as a new creation. What does it mean to be a Christian now? They need help translating biblical principles into establishing a strong, thriving family.”

For her part, Cathy was determined to get off government assistance. Keeping full-time work was difficult because her son’s severe asthma often caused her to be absent. She took the jobs she could – taking the boys with her to clean foreclosed homes and shovel horse stalls, even bringing piece work with her while she sat by her son’s hospital bed.

Together, the Tijerinas committed to doing whatever it took to stay together and leave a healthy legacy for their boys. Ron’s prayer in prison was that “I didn’t get the Dear John letter. My survival in prison, as difficult, ugly and traumatic as it was, still doesn’t (compare) with Cathy’s struggles dealing with the cares of the world — paying bills, feeding the kids. Her fight and plight in this were greater than mine,” he said.

A turning point for Cathy was a place of desperate need. A church provided the propane she was lacking. The woman who delivered it asked if she could do one more thing – connect Cathy with another family to support her and help her on the journey to get out of these circumstances with her family intact. Her comment struck Cathy because the woman was the first person who affirmed the value of Cathy’s marriage, who “treated her like a person, not a project.”

Cathy eventually enjoyed a long relationship with the mentor family that modeled healthy relationships while accepting them as their equals. “She (the wife) was the first one saying we were worthy and inspired me that my marriage was worth saving,” Cathy said.

“Others wanted to treat us like a project. Ron was in prison… I had no money. I was driving on a prayer four hours each way on threadbare tires to visit him. This family was very cognizant of how and when to interject help and when to let me figure things out on my own.”

Ron’s peers noticed Cathy and the boys’ consistent visits and asked Ron if she’d talk to their wives and girlfriends, the results of which eventually birthed what The RIDGE Project has become 20 years later.

Sometimes all it takes is just one person reaching out – not just for the relationship struggles, but practical issues like, How do I face the world? How do I take care of the kids? Cathy would share where she’d been successful, and by 1993, the Tijerinas started a program called Keeping Faith to help keep families and inmates together. In 2000 they put structure around it and developed the curriculum of what now is their suite of TYRO programs ministering to youth, adults and families. Cathy had become a paralegal and her skills translated well into grant writing. In 2002 The RIDGE Project was awarded its first grant and held its first family support event in 2007.

The couple faced another challenge in 2001. Ron was released after serving 11 years. The couple had prayed that God would send them where no one else would go, and six months later, with Cathy three months pregnant, his case was overturned. Ron was sent back (eventually spending another four years in prison.) This is where God really tested their faith and resolve. Cathy said God kept her going with the phrase, “I parted the Red Sea,” which she interpreted to mean God would give her the courage to continue the work. Eventually, the Ohio Governor released Ron and weeks later The RIDGE Project was awarded the grant that changed its trajectory.

They named The RIDGE Project programs TYRO, after the Greek word for apprentice, novice, someone learning something new, a warrior – all applicable descriptions of one learning how to war to become a leader at home, war for their family, and war for their legacy, Cathy said.

“You’ve got to put in the time, the sweat, the tears, the discipline,” Ron said. “The TYRO programs disrupt the idea of a perfect family. People believe because they are struggling, it is too late, that they can never have the healthy family they want. They have to have the hope that they can still have it.”

TYRO programs offer 24 hours of instruction, usually delivered in two-hour blocks weekly that take participants from cycles of self-destruction to cycles of self-improvement. In the past nine years, TYRO has influenced 23,070 men and serviced 29 state and federal grants. In the past 13 years, 16,284 have graduated from TYRO Dads/Leadership programs, 4688 have enrolled in JET and Financial Management, with a completion rate of 98%, and 7254 completed TYRO’s CORE Communication program, according to The RIDGE Project’s most recent annual report.

TYRO programs encourage decision-making that allows a person to be healthy, thriving and able to change both themselves and their family legacy. They ground their work on the five core foundational concepts found in the Tijerina’s 2013 book The High Five: Love Never Fails. Amazon describes the book as a “blueprint for family success,” that explains “how they beat impossible odds to not only survive but thrive.” Cathy, Ron and their son Brandon “share the five principles that enabled them to overcome these unimaginable obstacles in order to help their readers build strong, resilient families like theirs.” The High Five include: Friendship, Faithfulness, Forgiveness, Fairness, and Fortitude.

When COVID hit, The RIDGE Project had on-demand digital curriculum that was already in use in prison systems via tablets and TYRO TV. Prisons across America were begging for material, Ron said. That year The RIDGE Project registered 1.5 million downloads of their free content. Despite pandemic setbacks, 712 completed TYRO Dads/Leadership/Couples in 2021-2022.

Prior to the shutdowns, in 2019-2020, The RIDGE Project numbered 1250 graduates of its TRYO adult programs, including TYRO leadership, CORE Communication, Job Ethics Training and Financial Management, all of which teach personal responsibility, self-regulation and resiliency.

After a participant completes the TYRO program, they are eligible to continue in The RIDGE Project’s workforce reentry programs. TYRO Entrepreneurship Program (TEP) funds start-up business proposals in a manner similar to Shark Tank. TYRO Trucks partners with trucking schools and trucking companies. Their participants are able to earn their CDL while still incarcerated. Upon release, they can immediately accept a job with the company starting at $35,000 and climbing to six figures. The RIDGE Project even negotiated to ensure parolees are able to cross state lines while working.

Thousands of lives have been changed due to The RIDGE Project. One such example is Scott, who shared his testimony in The RIDGE Project’s fiscal 2019-2022 Annual Report:

My name is Scott, and I am a TYRO. I was sentenced to 10 years in prison, and it was not my first time. I was completely lost, I wanted more out of life, but I had no idea how to make it happen while in prison. A few years in I had done some programs but nothing earth-shattering. I signed up for TYRO Dads and found what I wanted my incarceration to be about. I took the class then became a peer facilitator. My life in prison changed and I practiced the skills that TYRO taught me to prepare for my eventual release. I came home April 3, 2019, and it was a different world than when I left but the TYRO principles and the lessons from the class still keep me grounded. I was able to obtain my CDL through TYRO, I have a relationship with my father and brothers, I am employed and am now engaged to the love of my life, Sarah. Life is good today because TYRO was there to teach me not only to be a father but to be a man of honor, integrity and promise! The men and women of the Ridge Project are my family, I owe them for showing me that I am a man worth following.

The Tijerinas welcome evaluation of The RIDGE Project’s evidence-based curriculum. A recent study showed participants of their program had a 2.6% recidivism rate at one year, 12% at three years, compared to a three-year national rate of 66%.

“We’re not trying to reduce recidivism,” Cathy said, “We’re trying to invest in family,” but reducing recidivism is a welcome by-product. Stabilizing a family and creating right relationships with God and within the household make everything right. She treasures a statement made by an evaluator in 2008 that their program’s highest outcome was the percentage of people who take the program and walk away with hopefulness for the future. Hopefulness is the hardest thing to measure and to infuse in people. “Their chances of success are huge just because that indicator is there. They learn how to dream again,” she said.

In addition to serving adults, The RIDGE Project also invests in youth and families – supporting those left at home through TYRO YOUTH. In 2019-2020 they led eight service projects involving 43,278 students and teachers in 38 counties. TYRO YOUTH provides opportunities like trips to Washington D.C., Film Camp, and community service projects. Their youth hosted a Thanksgiving celebration for the Northwest Ohio Juvenile Detention Center, among other events. From 2008-2020 302 family events served approximately 1183 fathers and 4300 family members.

How Churches Can Help

The Tijerinas offer suggestions for churches seeking to help incarcerated individuals and their families.

First, understand they are not working with people who need to be fixed. They are working with people who need to be mentored and in relationship with others, who need to feel accepted for who they are and challenged to grow. Cathy said it was important that people viewed her not just as a rescue project, a welfare recipient with a husband in prison, but as someone with gifts and talents.

Cathy & Ron Tijerina

“A lot of people have good hearts,” Ron said. “They just need someone to teach them how to communicate with this demographic.” They also caution against reinforcing learned helplessness and a victim mentality. Instead, challenge people with tough love to walk as victors.

Practice doesn’t make perfect. Practice makes permanent and healthy, Ron said. If not for the grace of God, there go I. That puts everything in perspective.

Ready to get involved? Church partners can find the Ridge Project at The Ridge Project website. TYRO broadcasts are also on YouTube.