BJ Foster Creates Content for Family First Ministry’s All Pro Dad and iMOM | Resources Help Families Love Each Other Well

Nov 17

How can families love each other well? That question inspired Mark and Susan Merrill to found non-profit Family First, formerly the Florida Family Council, more than three decades ago. While they initially worked to change laws that impacted family, they realized changing hearts and minds was most important. They began creating encouraging, helpful content for families, including the Family Minute radio spot that aired on stations nationwide. Although they stopped producing those spots more than 10 years ago, stations still replay the Family Minute, as much of their content has remained evergreen, said BJ Foster, Family First’s Director of Content. The ministry is named Family First to reflect God’s initial action as creator of the family, BJ explained.

The organization has evolved from faxing articles in the 1990s to now delivering relevant resources in modern ways. Their two sites, All Pro Dad and iMOM, receive more than 10 million visitors every year, impacting families with their hundreds of articles and emails on marriage and parenting. As Director of Content, BJ oversees all the Family First platforms, including writing and curating information from marriage and family authors to creating the curriculum on the two websites that form the ministry’s backbone.

Visitors to Allprodad.com and iMOM.com can find parenting and marriage information for an All Pro Dad or iMOM depending on their status. In addition to articles and podcasts, they can opt in for a daily email. As the titles suggests, many of the emails pertain to parenting, but every Wednesday, content focuses on marriage, BJ said. Writers include popular relationship leaders like Ted Lowe, Jackie Bledsoe, and Bobby Lewis. Celebrity spokespeople include All Pro Dad co-founder, Tony Dungy, and ESPN’s Dan Orlovsky and Laura Rutledge.

BJ’s found men and women react to content differently.

“Men tend to approach marriage and fatherhood with the attitude of ‘I’m pretty awesome,’ ‘I’m doing great – let me check out this article to see if I’m missing anything.’ Wives and moms worry that, ‘I’m not good enough,’ ‘Other moms do more.’” The tone of the articles appeals to each. “For women, we remind them they are doing great, maybe just try a few things,” BJ said. “Men are much more motivated by a negative article about what they are doing wrong. A common admonition is for men to put down the remote, the phone or, for Millennial husbands, the gaming controller.”

One article, “20 Things a Husband Says That Wives Hate,” became so popular it inspired a speaking topic, BJ said, that provided very practical words to say instead. For example, the no-win question, “Does this dress make me look fat?” To which BJ advises husbands to answer, “I don’t think that dress brings out your best.” Or “It’s not emphasizing all the things that bring out the most beautiful about you.” Or “It’s washing you out instead of bringing your best parts forward.”

Other unpopular words with wives: “Huh?” “Relax.” “Let me explain this in a way you can understand,” or, “Is it your time of the month?” Instead, BJ substitutes phrases like, “So when you say this… you mean this?” and “I hear you, I understand, I’m really glad you told me that.” Other winners: “That sounds really hard. How are you handling that?” And “If you were in my shoes, what would you do?”

A 65-year-old man recently shared feedback with BJ how helpful he’s found those phrases. For those who wonder how a man married just 18 years could be so wise, BJ admits he grew up with three older sisters. He realized at a young age words people say can greatly impact others.

All Pro Dad

All Pro Dad was designed to give men practical fatherhood tools and encouragement to address the issue of more than 19 million children in America without father figures. The organization believes that lack directly correlates to poor academic and social outcomes. One of the main goals of All Pro Dad is to provide programs and initiatives that will counteract the negative effects of fatherlessness.

Men will find podcasts, and hundreds of blog posts offering advice. Additionally, All Pro Dad provides an active program to empower men to become more involved in their children’s lives. Supported by legendary NFL football coach Tony Dungy, (who led the Indianapolis Colts to a Super Bowl victory in 2007) the ministry blends the excitement and glamour of a professional sports experience with regular, intentional father/child interaction. More than 1567 All Pro Dad school chapters in 44 states and three countries empower 1440 team captains to lead 170,000 fellow All Pro Dads in ways to connect with their children.

Their recommended formula of 1:1:1 breaks down to: spend one minute a day to read an encouraging Play of the Day email, one hour a month to have breakfast with your child (which can be done as a group through the All Pro Dad school chapters) and one day a year to attend an All Pro Dad experience in an NFL or NCAA stadium to interact with your kids in a fun environment.

The family day grew out of Mark and Tony Dungy’s relationship with Tampa Bay Buccaneers Quarterback Coach Clyde Christensen. “The three brainstormed how they could encourage father/child interaction and decided to invite kids and dads to come to a Bucs practice. The first year, 4,000 showed up,” BJ reported. They added activity so dads and kids could create memories. Now, many teams in the NFL participate in an All Pro Dad family event, which has extended to the NCAA as well. The late Bill Bissmeyer inspired the first All Pro Dad Chapter by his mission to host monthly father/child breakfasts. The event now includes character-based curriculum to help fathers open discussion with their kids.

All Pro Dad supports children by encouraging men to love their wives.

“Marriage is such an important part of the family,” BJ agreed. “First of the ‘10 Ways to Be an All Pro Dad’ is to love your wife. It’s a very important component of family security and stability when parents have a loving and nurturing relationship with each other. The marriage relationship is where the family begins.”

Every Wednesday, the All Pro Dad email “Play of the Day” focuses on marriage for those who indicated they were married when they signed up. Plays of the Day include a Huddle Up question to spark discussion.

An example of a post:

“Complacency is a subtle and silent enemy of marriage. Being complacent is the opposite of being driven. Instead of investing heavily in our marriages and trying to love our wives better each and every day, we get comfortable with the way things are and stop doing those things that make our marriages work. This could mean we decide not to plan time alone together, we neglect every kind of intimacy, or we forget to check in with her over the course of each day. A strong family begins with a strong marriage. Be a hero by loving your family well, starting with your wife!”

Huddle Up with your wife and ask, “What do you need most from me when you are stressed?”

“First of the ‘10 Ways to Be an All Pro Dad’ is to love your wife. It’s a very important component of family security and stability when parents have a loving and nurturing relationship with each other. The marriage relationship is where family begins.”

— BJ Foster

iMOM

Likewise, iMOM provides inspiration and ideas to help moms love their families well. Originally started by Susan as a complement to All Pro Dad, iMOM includes articles from moms of all ages addressing issues of marriage and parenting. Like All Pro Dad, those indicating they are married receive pertinent marriage building advice on Wednesdays. iMOM offers a weekly podcast for moms hosted by iMOM Content Manager Abby Watts that features Susan. Susan also co-hosts Bible Book Club podcasts anyone can access.

An example of iMOM’s marriage-focused material:

“Marriage: A happy marriage is a force to be reckoned with. It builds strong families and strong communities, so the iMOM team wants to give you as many valuable resources as we can to strengthen the bond between you and your husband. After all, loving your family well starts with loving your husband well.”

BJ has worked with Family First for the past 10 years. He cut his teeth in ministry through Young Life, first as a volunteer and then as an Area Director in the South Tampa area. He also served as chaplain for the Plant High School football team – who were at the time ranked in the top 50 schools in the nation. He met Susan as she served as team mom. Every Friday, she’d set up breakfast for the players while BJ would pray and give a Christian message. Between Young Life and the Chaplain position, BJ was delivering at least five unique mini-sermons a week. “I was producing a lot of content, and knew I could write,” he said. When the position of Content Creator at Family First was offered to him in 2014, it was a good fit.

The most important thing BJ’s learned, both through his work and parenting his own two teenaged children, is what it takes to be a better dad.

“I feel for the dads who aren’t involved in this,” he said. “It takes a lot of thought, energy and initiative – a lot of thinking it through and having a game plan. The biggest difference between a successful dad and one who struggles is having a game plan and working it through faithfully. Take just one thing and get better at it every day,” he encouraged. “That’s going to make all the difference in the world, maybe for generations.

“Marriage is the same way,” he added. “If you want to leave a legacy from one generation to the next — start in your marriage. Humility, forgiveness — all the tools that make a healthy person — you can find in marriage.

“Your love is going to be defined on your worst day — when you don’t want to engage, love or sacrifice, but you chose to. Those moments of difficulty are when 1 Corinthians 13 needs to cry out of your DNA. Be patient, kind, longsuffering. The day in and day out sacrifice, love, and care — that’s going to be the legacy you pass on to the kids who are watching what you are doing. When marriage breaks apart it creates anxiety and insecurity. If you have a thriving marriage – it creates security that kids belong to a place that’s solid.”

“A happy marriage is a forced to be reckoned with. It builds strong families and strong communities...”

— iMOM

Show Your Support

Family First has created a low-cost and novel way to generate funds and spread the word about their mission. Drivers in three states – Texas, Florida and Indiana — can purchase a specialty license plate for their car that shows their support for family. Family First has had a great response to the program, BJ added. You can participate right through the website, Familyfirst.com.