Your first fight started long before you ever met your spouse. That’s because coping skills formed in childhood play a much larger role in later relationships than most people realize. Counselors and authors Milan and Kay Yerkovich realized when studying attachment research that the ways young children bond (or don’t) with their parents during their early years deeply affect their ability to connect with their spouse later in life. Their How We Love resources help people discover their unhealthy behavior patterns and overcome the deficits that plague their marriages.

Click. The sound of a light switch. That small switch has the power to change a room from darkness to one illuminated with warming light. A switch can also describe a change in a person’s emotional and mental state from positive to negative, or vice versa. The ability to identify, then actively move one’s emotional outlook from negative to positive is what Christian life coaches Chuck and Ashley Elliot call “Switch Theory.”

Many have felt helpless watching a friend or family member struggle in their marriage. George Kenworthy, M.Div., D.Min., feels the same heart tug. As he began pastoring churches, he realized the depth of the need of those experiencing marital difficulties and the passion of his conviction to help.