Passion and Purity | Laura Gallier Candidly Encourages Biblical Foundations for Sex-Related Values

Mar 20

"Before we're married, Satan does everything he can to get us into bed together. After we're married, he does all he can to keep us out," quotes author, speaker, podcast host and soon-to-be filmmaker Laura Gallier on her website.

Laura’s created content to address both aspects of sexual relationships through a biblical lens —before and after marriage. She shares the importance of having a correct mindset about sex-related values in romantic relationships, speaking to thousands of teens about God’s best plan for their purity. On the other hand, Laura and her husband, Patrick, offer a streaming course on sexual intimacy for married couples that opens the door for meaningful conversations and discusses topics that have once been taboo in Christian circles.

Laura is passionate about sharing lessons learned the hard way through her own experiences. Her journey mirrors that of so many young girls in America. Her parents divorced shortly after she was born, and she was raised in a worldly, fatherless home. She looked for love in all the wrong places, and by the time she was 20, she found herself pregnant, and at 22, divorced and the single mom of her own little girl. She had heard the Gospel from a friend’s mother growing up, and when she hit an emotional and spiritual rock-bottom, she turned to God for rescue.

“Before we’re married, Satan does everything he can to get us into bed together. After we’re married, he does all he can to keep us out”

— Laura Gallier

“That’s when I learned God is a loving, forgiving God, and His commandments were for my protection,” she said, a message she now shares transparently through her speaking engagements and resources. She began serving the Lord wholeheartedly, later meeting her husband, Patrick, with whom she is building a family that has grown to include another young-adult daughter and teenaged son. The Galliers recently celebrated their 23rd wedding anniversary.

As she was raising their children, the Lord began opening doors for her to speak about biblical sexuality to parents and teenagers. Laura has created a video-based parent-teen sexual integrity course Unashamed, Beginning the Path to Purity parent-child workbook for younger children, and Choosing to Wait, published in 2009.

Her recent online streaming course, Blessed in the Bedroom, deals with sexual intimacy for married couples, an area that can be a source of conflict and dysfunction in many marriages. When the topic is not addressed, it can open the door for destruction of the marriage and family, Laura warned. Her and Patrick’s frank sharing models honest, helpful conversations about sex for couples.

“For some people the topic of sexuality is fun, and for others it is the most painful and awkward part of their marriage. We want to be sensitive to meeting couples where they are and keep the conversation comfortable,” Laura said. “Sexual intimacy is a biblical topic that should and must be addressed. We’ve made God’s beautiful, holy practice into this awkward thing. We overlook its blessing.”

Blessed in the Bedroom was revamped and re-recorded in spring 2024 to improve the quality of the video, tighten the timeline and add new illustrations. Couples can view the course in the comfort and privacy in their own home and at their own convenience.

TOPICS INCLUDE . . .

“That’s when I learned God is a loving, forgiving God, and His commandments were for my protection.”

— Laura Gallier

Understanding God's profound purpose for sexual intimacy in marriage that encompasses the spiritual, emotional and physical.

Addressing sex-related shame that robs us of sexual fulfillment.

Understanding the ramifications of a sex-less marriage or one with infrequent sex.

Negotiating a frequency that is satisfying to both.

Reclaiming arousal; no more merely tolerating sex or "faking" gratification.

Freedom from sexual addiction, lust, and a porn/fantasy approach to sex that sabotages intimacy.

Dispelling cultural lies that promise sexual fulfillment but lead to dissatisfaction.

Revealing factors that contribute to true sexual gratification.

Safeguarding against extramarital affairs.

Clarifying men and women’s differing sexual needs.

Balancing the demands of parenthood with keeping passion alive in the bedroom.

Shame – the destroyer of intimacy

So often we associate sex with shame, and we drag that shame into the bedroom, Laura said. “We encourage people to think about when sexuality first entered their lives —was it a beautiful discussion with mom and dad? For many it was through pornography or a violation.

“We help people to rid themselves of shame and begin healing. Pornography, addiction, we offer language to invite God into the conversation and pray about sexual intimacy and inspire authentic healing conversations.” The outcome is worth the effort and discomfort that some may feel, Laura encouraged.

“It’s so freeing to address shame. I speak as someone who was promiscuous and had a lot of baggage. It was not fun to work through those emotions, but it was so worth it. So much dysfunction comes in when we are not communicating the deep, hurtful things going on in our hearts. It can bleed into our marriage as a whole and can take it down. Learning to just live with it is not the way. We hope for more and want for more and work together for more.”

An Asian man who went through Blessed in the Bedroom reached out to share how he was raised with pornography and didn’t understand how to honor his wife and renew his mind to be a giver and not just a taker. He was grateful the program helped him.

Laura noted the church and its emphasis on the purity culture also have conveyed wrong messages. “We want to break the silence from the church and create a safe atmosphere. People have thought if they want sex, they are bad, and they carry that into the bedroom. Women may also have been told that they needed to always make themselves available to their husbands or they were going to cheat or look at porn. Women may resent their husband’s sexual appetite.

“We refute a lot of wrong mindsets and take false guilt out of the equation. We want to clean up the wrong messaging that men or women are somehow unspiritual for having a strong, healthy sexual appetite.”

The Galliers stress the importance of communicating feelings and emotions tethered to the sexual relationship. Misconceptions can eat away at the marriage for years, Laura said. “We need to break down tendencies that sabotage our relationship and correct things that are miscommunicated and hurtful.”

She and Patrick share how their own attitudes shaped by their previous experiences and families of origin caused them to be at odds. She was raised to be cynical about men and their motives, which led her to interpret his desire as “she was only good for one thing.” Patrick was very sensitive to rejection because of how it had manifested in his past. Any rebuff from Laura felt like a personal blow.

“We wouldn’t talk lovingly about what was going on,” Laura said. “We were hanging on to bitter roots of judgment.” The couple began realizing how much they needed each other and how the lies they were believing were injuring each other. “How healing it was when we started teaming up and assuring each other of our true hearts and motives. Our relationship became fun and passionate and loving again,” Laura said.

“We want to help couples before some secret hits the fan or a hurt comes out. At the end of the day, we understand a lot of people.”

One of the factors motivating the Galliers’ work was hearing how many married couples don’t have sex at all or just once a year. “This lack of consistency had exceeded anything we have experienced! Our hearts go out to them.” They tell the story of a man who approached them whose wife consistently turned him down for weeks at a time when he sincerely had a need. He hadn’t known how to get through to her until they watched Blessed in the Bedroom. “He needed help, and he was so grateful.”

Laura reminds people that God cares deeply about our sexuality. “He wants out of all those boxes we like to put him in,” Laura said. “He’s the God of intimacy, the God of the mess and the physical. We need to renew our minds to how spiritual sex really is, which gets so trampled in our culture. The Bible makes it clear – two become one through the physical — and they literally become one in the making of a baby. Adam and Eve both were naked and felt no shame. God wants us to feel clean and secure and to feel physically gratified. It’s something we don’t do with anyone else, it’s a rewarding connection that should be sweet and intimate and fun when the godly foundation is there.

“Sex can be so beautiful and lifegiving or so grotesque and devastating if it is misused — few things can be so polarizing. There’s a reason the occult almost always uses sexual abuse in their rituals. It is so grievous to God and so injurious to take something so sacred and holy and use it for harm,” she said. Laura recommends those recovering from a past trauma seek help from a licensed counselor or a wise, godly friend who can help process what happened. “Secret sin stays toxic when it is bottled up. Whether they were the victim or the perpetrator — God can meet them in that place.”

The Galliers speak to some practical issues as well — suggestions like good hygiene and physical care and keeping the bedroom tidy and attractive. That includes kicking the kids (and perhaps the pets) out of the bed and having a regular bedtime. They also talk about the importance of transitions, giving a wife time to warm up. “Sex starts in the morning with conversation and working as a team,” Laura emphasized. They explain away the myth that great looking people have better experiences. “Be on guard against the demonic seed that causes us to hide. This can impede how we physically feel and give away ground we are intended to enjoy.”

Laura said that when sexual intimacy is intact, it’s like putting a wall of protection around a marriage. When that’s taken care of, you can enjoy other things. “The Bible says if you go too long, Satan will come and tempt you. It is incredibly bonding and rewarding when you are in sync in this area.”

Laura believes strongly in the presence of spiritual warfare. She’s written an award-winning novel series, The Delusion, that she describes as a mashup of Frank Peretti meets Stranger Things. The series is currently in development for feature film production.

She also sheds light on many of today’s moral and social issues, particularly matters surrounding sexuality and mental health.

Laura recently co-hosted 57 episodes of the Fearless and Free: Spirit, Soul, Body podcast, where she discussed mental health and spiritual issues.

“I find it amazing on the journey of healing how we tend to think healing something resolves just one thing,” she said. “There’s a chain effect. The spirit, soul and body are interwoven. Finding healing in one area cascades to another.”

She is the lead developer of the I AM WORTHY Mental-Emotional Wellness and Character-Building Program for Students (WorthyProgram.com). She’s worked with Houston-based schools to roll out the turnkey program based on cognitive behavioral therapy that addresses the core issue of self-worth. “As long as our self-worth is lacking, we'll struggle to make worthwhile decisions, devaluing ourselves and mistreating others. But that changes when we realize and believe, ‘I am worthy!’” she describes on the site. The video-based program, ideal for middle schoolers, can also be purchased and used as a parent-child resource in the home.

Laura is committed to a lifestyle of asking God to show her where she is believing lies or has gotten off track. “God is constantly renewing me and working things together,” she said.

Her core value is freedom – from lies, shame, hiding – all which keep us in bondage.

“God wants us to feel honored in our marriage, honored in our sexuality. He wants to restore honor where we did dishonorable things. It’s amazing how your personality will become physically lighter.”

Restoring honor to the marriage honors the family and produces generational impact. “It’s a ripple effect,” she said. “Our grandkids will be affected. If we are healthy and whole as a couple, intimate in body and soul, our example will affect the mate our children choose. It’s a very real, non-exaggerated thing to say our future generations are affected by the intimacy in our marriage.”